Life, Love and Lust
by 13.shimer.13
Summary: Follows the lives of Jacob, Tanya, Kate, Garrett, Jasper, Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward and Bella as they find the meaning of life, love and lust. All human, M for foulmouthedness.
1. Chapter 1

Life, Love and Lust

A **.13 **story

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters; I've just turned them human and _revamped_ the story.

Chapter 1

**Jacob's POV**

I knew it was wrong. I knew, as I pushed her up against the bed, that I betrayed _her_ trust. The trust I had worked so hard to gain, from the girl who had been my best friend for practically forever; my girlfriend's trust. And yet… I couldn't bring myself away from this woman either; woman because she let me have _all_ that I wanted—not like my girlfriend, who insisted on waiting until after marriage. But, the way I see it, where's the fun without doing a little test driving before the purchase?

**Tanya's POV**

I was back at my apartment, after a _fun-filled_ night with Jake. The man was great on the physical side, but, as boyfriends go, he was more the silent type. In fact, well, we never actually really talked—he was more of a 'Sex now. Talk later.' Kind of guy; sort of Caveman-ish, but he was nice. He was rather good, compared to some of my others—most I got with were cheats, or druggies, or alcoholics. And Jake wasn't addicted to anything he couldn't get from me. Apart from, it appeared conversation.

**Kate's POV**

I didn't know why Tanya was so happy lately—one moment she was depressed because her ex, Sam, had been sent down for ten years (God knows what he _did_), and the next she was on cloud nine—but I intended to find out. Something, call it sisterly intuition, was telling me it was to do with a guy. Well, I thought it was bad, of course—seeing Tan get her heartbroken by guy after guy was absolutely terrible! My boyfriend Garrett was always there for us with a bowl of ice cream each time, though.

**Garrett's POV**

Kate always cried when Tanya cried. And that annoyed me to no end; I hated Katie crying. Sometimes I wished that Tanya would just find a nice guy who didn't upset her—for purely selfish reasons. It killed me every time a tear fell; it ripped me to pieces with every sob. I wanted her pain to stop. I _needed_ her pain to stop, so I could save money on ice cream, so I didn't have to witness my angel's hurt. But I stayed there for her, for Tanya, who wasn't really as bad as my friend Jasper made out.

**Jasper's POV**

It was sick. Tanya was a leech, a nasty, terrible, diseased leech. She was sucking away the happiness of my best friend and his fiancé. Kate was a fool to be taken in by the disgusting idiot. But Kate was so lovely and Tanya was just... not. How Garrett could put up with her snivelling, I truly didn't know. And as I stared guiltily at the small fairy in front of me, I was stricken by just how different this girl, little Alice, was from the fake and shallow leech, commonly known as Tanya Denali.

**Alice's POV**

I was staring at him again. Never mind that I was with my friend Jasper. Carlisle Cullen was divine; a God in both looks _and_ personality. And he was certainly not mine. He was helplessly in love with Esme Platt—what a bitch! She was clueless, she was lucky, and I would give anything to be her. But she was totally clueless to the way he looked at her, to the tragic way he would die for her. Yes, I wanted to be Esme Platt. Oh. Jasper just said something. I'll have to ask him what it was—I was watching Carlisle.

**Carlisle's POV**

I was undecided—should I make my presence known, or should I watch her from afar? There were benefits for both—if I were to remain unseen, she would not be forced to fake a polite smile at me, and I could watch her adorable expressions as she conversed with her friend. If I were to get the nerves up and speak with her... I would probably end up doing something foolish. And so I'll watch, afraid to look away, afraid to tell her I love her, and afraid she'll hate me.

**Esme's POV**

How pathetic am I? I'm drooling like a school girl—blushing like one too. I'm in a gym, and I hate them; sweat annoys me and the machines are boring. But Emmett's a gymaholic. And the boy is _fine_. His muscles make it worth it—so much so I'm planning on getting a membership here. My friends think I'm crazy, but the truth is, Emmett makes it worth it. We're just friends at the moment, but soon we'll be much more than that—if everything goes according to plan. But I guess nothing ever does.

**Emmett's POV**

Rosalie Hale. Bloody hell, it had been a long time since I'd heard that name. She'd left in fourth, maybe fifth grade, hadn't she? Cute girl at the time. Always wearing the prettiest dresses, but she was a total tomboy. Her ambition was to be a famous mechanic, and if the poster in my hand was anything to go by, she had certainly achieved that and more—her own car show being publicised on TV, a live show right here in Forks tonight. I'd have to go and check it out. Bribe my way in, if I could.

**Rosalie's POV**

I had made it. This was it—it was what I'd wanted ever since I'd seen my first toy car. I was proud, I was nervous as hell, and I was currently in make-up. Not that I _needed_ make-up. Not that I would let them put it on me. I wasn't a girly-girl; I was a tomboy through and through. If only Jess Stanley, the annoying girly-girl of my old class here in Forks could see me now. Maybe she would—residents of Forks get into my show for free. She wouldn't miss a free show that everyone would attend.

**Edward's POV**

Shit, shit, shit. She'll _hate_ me. I'm so, so, so, sorry, Bella Swan. I'm sorry for what I've seen. I'm sorry that I'll have to—for my own peace of mind and for her sake too—tell her what I've seen. Bastard Black. What the hell was he thinking, doing that to her? What a flipping asshole. Friends with the girl for all of his life and most of hers, and then he does that?! I'll bloody kill him. I'll kill him, I'll kill him, I'll kill him. Shit, shit, shit.

**Bella's POV**

Jake's working late today. He always seems to be, now. My poor Jacob—he's so hard working and dedicated! I keep telling him that that company should give him a pay rise; he spends all his time at work as of late. Well. At least he's stopped pressuring me to make love with him. I would, because I really do trust him, but I promised my dad I'd wait til I was married. I promised at the age of eight or seven, but I still promised. And I keep my promises.

A/N: Please review, even if you hated it!


	2. Chapter 2

Life, Love and Lust

A **.13 **story

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all; I've just humanised them.

Chapter 2

**Jacob's POV**

"You are a pathetic, horrible excuse of a fiancé. She _loves_ you. You do not deserve her." It sounds like what I say to myself everyday when I look in the mirror, but there is no mirror, and that's not my voice. It's Edward Mason's. "You won't… you won't tell Bella, will you?" but that was apparently the wrong thing to say. His voice is a contrast to his eyes, which are filled with fury—his voice is serene and calm. "Of course not, mutt. _I_ won't tell her. _You _will." And that is infinitely worse.

**Tanya's POV**

"Face the facts, hon. He's cheating on you." But he's _not_. He's not, he's not, he's not! Jacob is going out with _me_. I am the one he loves! Kate's face takes on a knowing look. She knows what's running through my head—she can just tell I am denying her 'home truths'. But, for my own peace of mind, he must not be cheating on me. Jacob wouldn't cheat. He just… he just isn't like the other ones, the scumbags and druggies and criminals. Jacob is for real.

**Kate's POV**

"Katie, will you _please_ stop worrying about Tanya now? She's a big girl, she can handle herself." It's what he says to me every time I get that feeling—the feeling that another relationship is at the end of its tether. And all of the relationships, every last one of them, have been my soul sister's. This must be the tenth time I'm giving her the 'I've had a feeling' speech and still she remains stubborn. She refuses to admit that I might be right. And I hate her for it.

**Garrett's POV**

"I'm _not _worrying." And once again, my fiancé put me in my place about her best friend. Tanya's great… but if she just remained single or got happy and stayed happy; I'd feel so much better. I don't have time for her shit—I want to live in peace, like it used to be. One of these days… well. I don't know what I'll do one of these days. And Katie knows it. Ah shit. Pager. "Look, I've got to go, Kate. I'll see you later." She nods and walks away to the kitchen. As I leave I can hear her put the kettle on.

**Jasper's POV**

"It's just pissing me off! I mean, he doesn't even notice me—D'you know what I mean?" yes, Alice. I know all too well exactly what you mean. It pisses me off that you hardly notice _me_. But I'll never say that to her. I'm too shy. She hardly knows I'm alive. At least we understand what the other feels, I guess. She's the same about _Carlisle_ as I am about _her_. You know what pisses me off most? I can't hate Carlisle because he's too nice. "I'm sure he likes you too, Alice…" what else can I say?

**Alice's POV**

"I'm sure he likes you too, Alice…" he says. But I'm not so sure. I'm not convinced of it, not convinced at all. I don't think he is, either. It's a half hearted comment. But that's to be expected—Jasper's only ever half hearted, lately. I know why, I think. It's because it's nearly Christmas. Jasper's half hearted around Christmases. And it's the fifth anniversary this year. How could I have forgotten? Five years since his girlfriend died. Five years since the day, Christmas Day, Maria committed suicide.

**Carlisle's POV**

"Boo!" my friend Alice has tried to sneak up on me—impossible. And now that she's standing in front of me, she's blocking my view. My view of Esme Platt. "Hi Alice." _Please move out of my way!_ I think as I try and crane my neck around her. If she notices this, she doesn't let on, but she sits down next to me and starts talking about Jasper and how depressed he is lately. And this reminds me of… Maria. I am a doctor, and I am the one they tried to bring her to. Ruined. Ruined beyond belief.

**Esme's POV**

"Hey, Esme!" Oh my God. Emmett was talking to me! I mean, of course he was talking to me. We're friends, duh. But still. He was talking to me! Right, Esme. Act natural. "Oh, hi there Emmett." perfect. casual, but friendly. But not too friendly. But not exactly cold, either. Just warm enough. Oh, he's talking to me again. "You okay? Guess what! I know someone who has a crush on you!" my breathing stops. This is it. This is the part where he declares his undying love for me. "Carlisle!" he says.

**Emmett's POV**

"Carlisle!" I say. Esme looks slightly… disappointed. Why isn't she happy? They'd be a great couple; Carlisle's very dedicated and a great person—he is a doctor, after all. Esme would be very good for him, as she's one of the kindest and nicest people I know. She's like a sister to me. I wonder if she could put a good word in with Rosalie for me… they used to be friends at school, I think. Yeah, that's a good idea. I think I'll go and spread the joy and say hi to my Brother-From-Another-Mother, Edward.

**Rosalie's POV**

"Oh. My. God! Rosalie Hale? Is that you? Remember me? I'm Jess, Jessica Newton!" Oh. My. God. I think I'm gonna be sick! Newton and Stanley got _married_? I hope they never breed… "Oh, Jess, of course I remember you! So you and Mike finally got together? That's great!" I can't believe I won that bet. Though I _had _told Edward and Emmett, two of my old Fork-friends that Jessica Stanley and Mike Newton were so disgusting they were bound to end up with only each other.

**Edward's POV**

"Hi Edward, are you alright?" Emmett. One of my best friends. What do I say? 'No Emmett, I'm not alright. The girl I've fancied for years is getting married to an asshole that's cheating on her, and our friend Jasper is looking more and more suicidal by the day. How's your life?' I can't say that. Emmett would die of information overload. So what I say instead is "I'm fine Emmett, you?" and I listen faintly as he starts talking about girls who left school and started working on cars…

**Bella's POV**

"I love you too, Bella." Jacob says. He sounds as he has for weeks: tense and formal. I know what's wrong; stress. He's always at work, always doing something for that company. He's been so distant because he's always thinking of what he has to do, thinking of all the work ahead of him. He doesn't get paid enough. They expect far too much of him at that place. It's our wedding in two weeks—he'd better have the day and two weeks after it booked off. I paid an arm and a leg for that honeymoon.

A/N: I hope you can find it in your heart to review, if anyone's actually reading this...


	3. Chapter 3

Life, Love and Lust

A **.13** story

Disclaimer: This just really doesn't belong to me...

Chapter 3

**Jacob's POV**

"Bella, I'm so sorry!"

"What?"

"I said, 'I've cheated on you'."

"I know what you said, Jacob. What?"

"Are you… are you okay, Bella?"

**Tanya's POV**

"Kate? Are you there?"

"I'm here, honey, why are you crying?"

"He broke up with me!"

"Who?"

"Jacob, Kate, Jacob! He broke up with me!"

**Kate's POV**

"Oh, don't cry honey, he didn't deserve you!"

"I loved him, and all that time he was going out with some other cow!"

"I know honey, I know."

"And I can't even call her a slut because he told me they never did anything physical."

"So… instead of being cheated on, this time you were the one he was cheating on a girl with?"

**Garrett's POV**

"I don't think I can take any more of this shit, Jasper."

"So tell the bitch to hit the road and leave you and Kate alone."

"No. I can't."

"Why not, you chicken shit or something?"

"Yeah. Something."

**Jasper's POV**

"Anyway, enough of my problems, what's going on with you and that Alice chick?"

"Alice is a friend. Nothing is going on with us."

"But you want there to be something going on. So."

"Yeah, well, so what if I do? You got a problem with that, mom?"

"Sorry, Jazz. And… I'm sorry about Maria."

**Alice's POV**

"I don't wanna talk about it, Alice."

"Aww, come on Jazz, it'll make you feel better!"

"No it won't. Just… just leave me alone, 'kay?"

"I'm sorry. Alright? I-uh-didn't mean to…"

"It's alright Alice. I know."

**Carlisle's POV**

"Hey, Esme,"

"Oh, _ciao_ Carlisle."

"You okay, Esme?"

"Oh, _si_ Carlisle."

"Um. Okay then."

**Esme's POV**

"_Ciao_, Carlisle,"

"Er, _ciao_, Esme. I'll, uh, talk to you later then."

"_Si_."

"Sea?"

"_Si_."

**Emmett's POV**

"Looking _smoking_ Rosalie Hale!"

"Oh ha ha, you freak."

"Nope, no freak. And please, don't freak out at me, though I do know I'm amazing. It's a curse."

"Ugh. When they were cursing you, they forgot to bless you with modesty and good looks."

"Hey! I'm amazingly good looking! Everyone says so!"

**Rosalie's POV**

"Let me guess, _everyone's_ your mom."

"Ow! You wound me with your dagger like tongue. Will you kiss my ego better?"

"…"

"On second thought, maybe not. Did you know smoking's bad for you?"

"… no shit, Sherlock."

**Edward's POV**

"Edward, are you… are you in there?"

"Oh, Bella, hi. What's up?"

"The—the ceiling is."

"Oh, well, yeah, I guess. Ha, ha."

"Edward, Jacob… Jacob was cheating on me!"

**Bella's POV**

"Oh."

"And I—I thought he _loved_ me!"

"I'm so sorry, Bella. So, so sorry."

"It wasn't your fault, Edward…"

"Yeah…"

A/N: Please find it in your hearts to review...? If anyone's there?


	4. Chapter 4

Life, Love and Lust

A **.13** story

Disclaimer: As per usual, I just don't own this...

Chapter 4

**Jacob's POV**

"I hate you, Jacob Black!"

"I-I-I…"

"I thought you were different!"

"Sorry! Sorry!"

"I can't believe you used me! You were cheating on some innocent girl, and I helped you!"

**Tanya's POV**

"I just feel so dirty."

"I know, honey, I know."

"I just feel so dirty."

"You've already said that, babe."

"I just feel so unclean."

**Kate's POV**

"She takes up all your time!"

"I can't believe you're jealous of Tanya! Grow up, Garrett."

"Look, Kate, see it from my side for once: she is sucking the life out of our relationship."

"Ugh, you're always so _dramatic_ lately."

"Either she goes, or I go."

**Garrett's POV**

"Don't be ridiculous!"

"Pick."

"Fine. You go."

"Fine."

"Fine."

**Jasper's POV**

"She… she… she… she actually broke…"

"You can kip on the couch. Beer's in the fridge, I'll call the local Italian, and then we'll bitch about life."

"Thanks, Jazz."

"S'alright, you'd do the same for me, right?"

"Right."

**Alice's POV**

"Oh my God! Kate and Garrett broke up!"

"Yep. He made her choose between him and Tanya."

"And she chose Tanya."

"Yep."

"Then there's no hope for anyone."

**Carlisle's POV**

"So, I talked to Esme, and I really think she's starting to like me!"

"Really? That's great, Carlisle."

"I know, Alice! Isn't it brilliant?"

"Yes. Brilliant."

"Oh, here she is now!"

**Esme's POV**

"Hey Alice! Oh. Hi Carlisle."

"Hi—"

"Oh my God, Alice! Have you seen Emmett lately? He's _so_ freaking _hot_"

"I know, right."

"Right!"

**Emmett's POV**

"Have you met my friend Edward, yet?"

"Edward? Edward Mason? I had the most embarrassing crush on him in third grade!"

"Really? Why? What was so attractive about him?"

"Well, he was cute and he never seemed to like me even though all the other boys did."

"Hah, Edward was _cute_. Hee hee."

**Rosalie's POV**

"Well, he was! All the girls thought so."

"Name one."

"Bella Swan. She had the biggest crush on Edward out of all of us when we were young!"

"Okay then. Name four more."

"Angela Webber, Jessica Stanley, Lauren Mallory and Samantha Davies, but there was also Eric…"

**Edward's POV**

"Edward, you _gotta_ teach me to be crushable!"

"What, Emmett?"

"Dude, all the girls used to crush on you, even Rosalie Hale did! I _gotta_ be like you to get Rosalie."

"Um. Okay, then."

"So you'll help?"

**Bella's POV**

"Take your ring back."

"You can keep it, if you like. It was made for you."

"Thank you, but why would I want a reminder?"

"I don't—I don't know."

"Well there you are, then. Take it with you, and get the hell out of my house."

A/N: Not much to say, as per usual, except that if there's anyone out there, I'd like to know how to improve... so review, please?


	5. Chapter 5

Life, Love and Lust

A **.13** story

Disclaimer: Once again, this really isn't mine.

**Jacob's POV**

I suppose it wasn't the end of the world. Not really. It just felt like it was. What had I done? I'd ruined it all, let myself cheat on my best friend, my girlfriend, my Bella. But now... she's... not. What I mean is, she isn't... _mine_ any more. I—like the fool that I am—have let her walk away. For a fling. For a meaningless bit of fun. She didn't mean anything to me, it was always Bella, really. Yet I cheated on her. And in the process, I successfully broke, not just Bella's heart, but Tanya's and my own.

**Tanya's POV**

I cried for what must have been days. Another failure, another meaningless—on his side—fling. The anger hadn't arrived yet. Nothing but an ocean of hurt, converted into tears, made it through my numb shell. I felt—and this was only vaguely—a sister's reassuring hug as I screamed and howled my pain. I knew in my heart that this was it. The last time. I was through everyone screwing me over, falling for the wrong people. It wasn't worth the agony. This was it. Get someone better for me.

**Kate's POV**

What had I done? Had I really chosen between my best friend and the love of my life? I had, hadn't I? Oh my God. Garrett. I depended on him like air—as it turns out, I miss him. I miss him a lot. The cup of tea waiting for me in the morning, hugs, kisses, cuddles, hand-holding, everything. Gone. And my fault. Tanya's fault, too. It was hard, as I held her in a tight, comforting hug, not to slap her for what she had made me do. She always seemed to need me, never realised what she did to Garrett and I.

**Garrett's POV**

There were no words for my regret. Making her choose was unacceptable. I should have expected her reaction—I know Katie, for Christ's sake! Of course she'd sacrifice our love for her sisterly bond; that was just Kate, really. And I'd known that Tanya was important, and perhaps—for the moment, while she was suffering at the very least—more important than me. Kipping on Jasper's coach helped me gain perspective: it would blow over, eventually, and hopefully we'd be back together very soon.

**Jasper's POV**

Christmas Eve in five days. Five days, five years. No difference, really. I could still hear her throaty voice in the snow; still feel her on my fingers. Over time, I'd learnt to cope with the fierce emotion; known that one day—at some point—normalcy would return and I would learn to feel once more. Maria was still there in my memories, but i want to live in the present. I want to love and be loved. She left me—for some unknown reason—and now it was my time to get her, the girl to love. Alice.

**Alice's POV**

Life is pretty crazy—Kate and Garrett had split and Jacob and Bella, too. I'd always hated that nasty little Jacob Black, always said friends should never date. And now, Bella was even more of a recluse, up in her flat with Linkin Park, her comfort band, playing loudly. No one dared complain about how loud it was, because everyone knew about the breakup and everyone knew about Bella's fury. It was best not to annoy her when she was having a bad day. And this was a lot worse than a bad day.

**Carlisle's POV**

Jacob had cheated on Bella with Tanya! Madness. I didn't believe it when Edward told me. Two couples broken up because of one affair, and Tanya was hurt too. Everyone was. When you're in a tight-knit group like ours, just one tiny thing can change everything. Sides are created, tears are cried and usually, I'm left not knowing what's going on. It's not fair, but it's what happens. This has to be the worse, though, and its right before Christmas too. There goes peace on Earth...

**Esme's POV**

Carlisle gave me the news from Edward. I couldn't say anything, was bemused, speechless. He nodded, expecting that very reaction. I felt tears well up in my eyes and he leaned over to envelope me in a hug. Everything had changed, the balance in life had slipped and I cried for the loss of the happiness we had had. Kate and Garrett might be repaired within a few weeks, perhaps less. Tanya, on the other hand, would be inconsolable. And Bella? The sweet, sweet girl would never be the same.

**Emmett's POV**

Well, crap. What the hell had just happened? Shit's getting crazy these days. Got the phone call off Ed, and couldn't believe it. Kate and Garrett? Jacob and Bella? Well, yeah. I understood Jacob and Bella. Bella should have been with Edward in the first place, I think, but Garrett and Kate? No way! I could tell Jasper was pissed off when he broke it to me, so I assumed it was because of his least favourite person, Tanya Denali. All the trouble that cow has caused... she's just not worth it.

**Rosalie's POV**

_If it's true, I'm quitting the fags._ Why, in God's name, had I said that? It was tempting fate. And it was as annoying as Jessica Newton. I hadn't had a cigarette for an entire day, and my cravings were making me angry, grouchy and dangerous to be around. I put all of my efforts into my work instead of killing someone, and my team were amazed as they watched me shift 10 more cars than I usually would have. I think half of them were scared and the other half inspired. It does them good, I guess.

**Edward's POV**

I held her for what must have been only hours, but felt like days. The best days of my life. Her tears ran onto me, steadily, and I held her while she grieved her cheating fiancée. Occasionally, I would offer her a tissue, but mostly I just let her cry him out. We listened to Linkin Park, perhaps a bit loudly for my taste, but it kept Bella numb enough to stop wailing. And that was what was most important right then. No one seemed to care, in any case. There were no complaints at all.

**Bella's POV**

A part of me is dead. A part of me—an important part, I think—is gone. I used to know its name, but now all I know are the arms wrapped around me. Strong arms. Safe arms. Arms that will catch me when I fall, have caught me now. Edward's arms and music. It's angry music, and it's telling me to bleed it out. And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to bleed it out, because it's the only thing I know how to do and because it's what's going to keep me alive, keep me here.

A/N: Happy April Fool's day! I considered not updating this as a joke on everyone, but then decided there wasn't really any point in delaying it... Thursday is my update date, like it or not... and I really wish people would read this and then review it...


	6. Chapter 6

Life, Love and Lust

A **13** story

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own anything but the plot. Stephenie Meyer owns all.

**Jacob's POV**

Everyone was planning to go to Carlisle's place (as his was the biggest place—practically a mansion) tonight. Bella would probably be there. But so would Tanya. And Edward, who would probably kill me if I so much as looked at Bella or Tanya. Was it really going to be worth going to? I didn't know, but I did know I had to. To show I'm not a coward and to spend Christmas with my friends. I've just got to hope that nobody kills me and that I manage to get out of there alive.

**Tanya's POV**

This year I'd been invited to Carlisle's for a Christmas get together. However, at that time I hadn't heard of Bella, Kate hadn't known Jacob was the one I was seeing (and therefore hadn't warned me of who he was) and I was happy. Now? Now I knew that if I ever saw Jacob again, I'd most likely kill him. And Bella? I hadn't even met her, but I wasn't sure I wanted to—what if she thought I had known about her? I hadn't, but I know I couldn't forgive myself for it either.

**Kate's POV**

My world was in pieces, the fragments destroyed in the aftermath of my choice. He'd told me to pick. I never thought he really meant it. I think he never thought I would even do it. But I did do it, called his bluff, and he took me seriously. I took me seriously. And now I was questioning myself—who I was, what I was and what I'd done. It was only now, a day later, that I could consider the consequences of that bluffed choice properly. I was left with no fiancée and a friend.

**Garrett's POV**

How could she do this to me, to us? Jasper was right—Tanya was a poisonous leech, leeching all of our happiness away. She had to make everyone else feel terrible, too, wasn't happy with being miserable alone and wanted company. How many lives had Tanya Denali ruined because of her lust? Her own, for one. Bella's. Jacob's. And Katie's and mine, and then indirectly all of our friends. One affair wreaked havoc on the lives of everyone else around her. Stupid, stupid bitch.

**Jasper's POV**

There was too much... drama. Too much anger, hate and pain. And at Christmas? Well, that just made me feel worse. My friends, the sadists. How could they do this to me? I felt like I needed a break from all of the hurt. Carlisle's party tonight would be unbearable. So, for now, I would settle with spending the day the way I wanted, by going out to a small, local café I knew that made the most divine cup of coffee I'd ever had in my life. The fact that Alice worked there was irrelevant.

**Alice's POV**

Jasper Whitlock walked in and ordered his usual—a black coffee with half a teaspoon of sugar in it. It was practically pure caffeine in a mug, but he seemed to love it. He grinned at me as he sipped the hot coffee. I almost told him to blow on it first, to cool it off, but couldn't find a non-dodgy way to say it. Instead, I told him I hoped he enjoyed his coffee and rushed off to take another order. My cheeks burned red. He stayed at the bar and talked to me for a while. He's not bad, is Jasper.

**Carlisle's POV**

This year was going to be a total disaster. Last year had been bad, but at least that year everyone had been friends. But this year? I was wondering if anyone would bother showing up, this year. I wouldn't be surprised if no one did. Everyone was avoiding everyone, having Tanya, Jacob, Bella, Kate and Garrett in the same room seemed impossible. The only outcome would be death—most likely Jacob's, but closely followed by Tanya's. Either way, it was going to be a long night.

**Esme's POV**

When Carlisle rang to confirm my attendance at his party, I, of course, said that I would be attending. Emmett would be going, and with everyone hating one another, not many others would. This would be my chance to get Emmett to see—really see—me as a potential girlfriend. But what to wear? My best colour was—and always had been, admittedly—purple. But a dress? Jeans, a skirt, boots, heels? I couldn't decide, so I rang Bella, one of my old friends from school.

**Emmett's POV**

Eddy was supposed to be teaching me how to be crushable but was nowhere to be seen, Ally was working, Jazzy had disappeared off the face of the earth, Belly was crying somewhere and everyone else was too miserable (and Esme had been kind of creepy lately) or too busy (namely Carlisle, who had a party to prepare for) to do anything with me. I knew one person, however, that wasn't too busy. Rosalie Hale. Maybe she could help me with my baby Jeep...

**Rosalie's POV**

His Jeep was awesome, was the first thing I noticed. He may have been the annoying boy I used to go to school with a long time ago, but now he was a man with an excellent taste in cars. The only thing I could fault with his Jeep was how his engine sounded. Her growl wasn't _loud_ enough. It was nothing I couldn't fix, though. As he was a sort-of friend, I decided to give him a discount. I made him pay only $50 for the privilege of watching me work. I made her sing for him.

**Edward's POV**

She was still there, somewhere. Just... smothered up in the hate and disaster of her ended relationship. Jacob Black had done this to her. I know I couldn't have stopped him—hell, if it gave me a chance with her, I might have helped him—but I wish I could have. Or that I could do something now other than pass her the tissues and hold her while she cries. Anything. I couldn't punch him, though. I had to stay with her. But if I ever saw him again... well. No promises.

**Bella's POV**

Clothes. My heart is broken, and Esme Platt is ringing me about _clothes_. 'Insensitive' doesn't begin to cover it. I struggle though the call with difficulty. I agree that purple is her best colour after much prompting, and when she asks me whether she should wear a dress, skirt or trousers, I tell her to go with whatever she prefers. She thanks me and then hangs up—after five extremely long minutes. But Edward was there, cuddling me as I gave Esme advice. Edward was there.

A/N: Will someone please review? I don't know whether to continue this or not, and no one's given me any feedback, so... yeah.


	7. Chapter 7

Life, Love and Lust

A **.13 **story

Disclaimer: Once more with feeling: I don't own!

**Jacob's POV**

I didn't go, in the end. Couldn't face up to the accusing eyes, to her accusing eyes. I stayed at home instead; content to relive the guilt over and over and over again with a renewed anger and self hate with every time I relived it. I stayed awake for as long as I could, knowing that somewhere out there Bella was lying awake, not going to sleep because she couldn't. Every time she did, she probably saw images I'd put there, images of me with Tanya, us doing things. But I did go to sleep, eventually. And when I woke up in the morning, I hated myself again because I had gone to sleep. That was okay, though, because I didn't mind the hate really. I felt closer to her for it—it was something we shared now, a hatred for me. A completely deserved hatred, but I was somehow still hurt by it. Being the villain was no fun, and I was missing my Bella, my bestie, my reason for living. And now she was with him, and I was secluded from all that was good in life.

**Tanya's POV**

I got half way to Carlisle's before I lost my nerve and turned back to a night of cheap wine and a rented movie. There was a box of chocolates I could have opened, but I didn't want to, really—Kate could have them. The rented movie began, and it wasn't long before I realised it was a sloppy rom-com. That wasn't unexpected, but it did hurt. It hurt more than I knew it could, and envy bubbled within me. Why was it so easy in a film, a book, a song? How could it be that all of these people out there were writing of love, talking and singing of love, and all of them were telling us it was easy? Where was the justice in such lies? From what I knew of love, someone got hurt—usually me—and there was no such thing as a happy ending. They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs, but I know I've kissed all the frogs I can handle. There isn't a prince to follow. There is no such thing as a perfect man, a perfect relationship. There is only sorrow. Sorrow and heartbreak.

**Kate's POV**

Obviously, I had made a mistake. A grave, grave mistake. What had I been thinking? Clearly, I had not been thinking—not that that made me feel any better, though. It just made me feel worse. Was there really any chance of us getting back together again? Yes. But there was one unmentioned condition. To get my Garrett back, I would have to get rid of the one thing in the way of our happiness: my best friend and honorary sister, Tanya. It wouldn't be an easy thing to do, but if I had to, I could. I would be losing a confident, a friend, a sister. But I would regain my husband, my love, my one and only man. He would be all I would need. Besides, Tanya was self-centred—something that had always annoyed me. She didn't listen to a word I said, either. I doubt she'd even noticed that I'd split up with my fiancée for her. She was so caught up in her own, tragic life that she was blind to everything else. Blind to me. I could be blind to her too.

**Garrett's POV**

I stared at the phone, toying with the idea of picking it up and dialling the number. Our number. When we had moved in together, we had gotten a house phone together (obviously) and the message was from another time, another place. Five months ago, but now it seemed—as clichéd as this is—like it had been five whole centuries ago. We were laughing. Playfully arguing with one another. Do I really want to hear her voice? Hear us, back then? No... and yes. Hearing her voice would be painful, but in the end all I've ever wanted is to be with her. Some hope might be derived if I got to hear the message. Misery might be derived if I got through and she picked up, but I knew that I had to try anything to get us back together and back on track. If I had to ring constantly, argue until I was blue in the face... I would do it. I would do it for both her and for me. I stared at the phone again, but this time I picked it up and dialled our number. It rang.

**Jasper's POV**

Every time I saw her, I could feel my heart grow a little bigger; it had shrunk after Maria... but no. She left me. I could move on. I shouldn't feel guilty about it, either. Wanting to be in love again wasn't a crime, was it? It wasn't the last time I checked, anyway. I wanted to be in love with little Alice Brandon. I wanted to hear her laugh every day of my life for the rest of my life. Was there anything wrong with that? To hope that she would love me back, that we might build a whole family together? There was nothing bad about hope. I hope for many things, now. Peace for Maria, my depressed girlfriend, the only girl I'd ever loved. The only one I knew who committed suicide. She was unique like that, I guess. See, I know that no one will ever replace Maria in my heart—hell, I wouldn't want them to!—but I also know that she'd want me to be happy, even if happy meant I was without her. Happy with Alice.

**Alice's POV**

I watched Carlisle Cullen intently, trying to figure out what was different about him today. His hair—blonde and rugged, very delicious—looked the same. His eyes—blonde and kind—were no different to when I looked into them yesterday. But something about him was off. Not right. Something... wasn't there. Something was missing. But he looked exactly the same as he previously had. So something must be wrong with _me_. Or at least with the way I saw him. Perhaps I was no longer attracted to him. I felt a bit sad as I realised that, but I shrugged it off. It was for the best—he wanted Esme, and I'd always known they'd make a better couple. And it had never been _serious_ on my part, and definitely never on his! And there were plenty of other people out there that I could be with. People that acknowledged me as a person, not a sister or friend. And it was fine. Really. It was better. Much, much better to be free to find a new crush. Really.

**Carlisle's POV**

I'm still shocked after last night. The party was a fail; only one person showed up. Esme Platt, believe it or not—I know _I_ still can't believe it, and I was there. She knocked on the door and I answered it, surprised she had shown up. No one else had. I poured us both a drink and smiled at her. Her answering smile seemed false to me, as she glanced around nervously, waiting for others to arrive. The place was decorated for the holiday, and she cooed over the angel on top of the Christmas tree. I was nervous and I didn't know what to say—what _are_ you supposed to say to the girl of your dreams? Small talk while you're waiting for all of your friends isn't ideal, but I did try to steer clear of topics like the weather. I still can't remember what we talked about, but I can definitely remember Esme laughing for most of the time. No one else turned up, and after we'd sat talking, eating and drinking with some music as background noise for hours, she left.

**Esme's POV**

I had had a great time last night with Carlisle. Previously I had not noticed how charming and witty he is, but now it is all I can see. And he's handsome, too. And he's a doctor! The perfect gentleman. I don't know a single person who has said something nasty about Carlisle Cullen. And after last night, I can see why. He wants kids. He doesn't smoke. And he's very, very romantic. I bet Emmett McCarty hasn't had a romantic thought in his life. And that body! His muscles are way too big—he always has the appearance of someone on steroids! And he's always joking around, never taking anything in life seriously! I could never be with a man like that, one that doesn't understand when a joke is a bad idea. Carlisle... well, he gets me. We share a sense of humour, like the same music and books. I'm starting to see the boy I overlooked as a man I should appreciate. Sometimes, I knew I could be an Italian cow, but I'd try to be nicer now.

**Emmett's POV**

The crushable lessons were turning out to be a nightmare. What could I learn from Edward that I didn't already know? What he was trying to sell me was a load of crap, and I wasn't interested in buying any of that today. He had some nerve, telling me to 'be a gentleman'. I already _knew_ how to be a gentleman. All you had to do was, you know, open some doors and say "after you" and stuff like that. Manners. I had manners, and I knew how to use them, too! Sometimes, I just didn't want to. He also—get this!—told me to dress up for the date, really make an effort. This coming from self-confessed slob, Edward Cullen! I had half a mind to punch the hypocrite right in his 'crushable' face. Who could find _Edward Cullen _attractive? What was third grader Rosalie thinking? And Bella, Lauren, Angela, Samantha, Jessica and Eric, for that matter. Wait a minute—isn't Eric a boy's name? Oh, that's just really gross. Ugh.

**Rosalie's POV**

I quickly found myself becoming obsessed with Emmett McCarty. I wanted to know everything and anything about him, and wanted him to notice me too. He had grown up a lot since when we were young. He had muscles, was tall and somehow still managed to maintain dimples that belonged on the face of a two year old. I began to see all of the things about him that were great, and I wanted to tell him how much I respected him, and that I could see me and him getting together. I'd already thought of what his reply would be—the response was obvious, really. Something like "I could see me and you doing a _lot _of stuff together". A half-joke, his specialty. But it was arrogant of me to think that a boy like him could see a girl like me as a soul mate, or anything more than a one-time thing. Most guys found me intimidating, because I knew more about cars than they did. I wished Emmett could see past that and just accept me.

**Edward's POV**

Locked away with Bella, reality slowly eluded me. I forgot what day it was, and slowly drifted into Bella land, where my purpose was to keep her alive and steady. But reality wanted me back, and it came in the form of my best mate Emmett, no less. Which explained why the wakeup call was so loud; Emmett had the ability to make a whisper sound like a shout. And what had he disturbed me for? Lessons in becoming a good catch, of course. He had his eyes set on some girl called Rosalie. An unusual name. I've only ever known one, and she was a pretty girl. She wasn't a girly girl, though. Her ambition was to be a mechanic, and she was completely unafraid of getting dirty, or catching 'cooties'—which was a well documented and highly dangerous disease back in those days, according to all of the girls. Undoubtedly she was a suffragette in her past life. Emmett's been talking about this Rosalie person for a while now. A mechanic Rosalie. Rosalie Hale. Oh crap.

**Bella's POV**

I waited longingly for the sweet darkness of sleep to overpower me, wishing it could last eternally. I wanted the numbness. The beautiful sensation of knowing absolutely nothing. And I could tell that Edward knew how I felt, felt it too. I knew because we had bonded to one another in an irreversible way. We were like separate parts to one whole being. I felt him leave subconsciously, and I couldn't sleep safely until he came back. Only then did I feel secure. My thoughts lingered on Jacob and how he'd made a fool of me. So naive was I, that I couldn't see what was going on right under my nose. I should have seen the signs. He was always working late, never seemed to hear when I spoke to him, and he was a lot more distant, taking calls from 'work' at all times. And, looking back on it, he took those calls with a pinch of guilt and never in my hearing. And still I didn't guess. The hardest part of it all is feeling like a fool.

A/N: Sorry it's a day late. I finished writing it late last night, but when asked whether I wanted to save it or not, I idiotically responded 'no' instead of the preferred 'yes', hence I had to rewrite from Emmett all the way down to Bella. It's not as good as it was first time round from Emmett to Bella, but I hope you'll like it anyway.

P.S: I'm dedicating this story to BrownEyedGirl1863. She's awesome, and everyone should bow before her and her awesomeness. That is all. Goodbye.


	8. Chapter 8

Life, Love and Lust

A **.13 **story

Disclaimer: This doesn't really belong to me. It's all Stephenie Meyer's.

**Jacob's POV**

"You are a terrible, terrible person, Jacob Black."

"I know Tanya. And I didn't mean to hurt you."

"No. You just used me to hurt someone else. And that is why I hate you."

"You have every right to hate me—"

"—hell yes, I have every right! You think I didn't know that already? Cause I _know._"

"I'm sorry! Look—I… this isn't going peachy for me, either!"

"I bloody hope not! I hope that all you feel is self hatred like I do, you horrible bastard!"

"Believe me. Hate is the only thing I feel. And I am _sorry _for what I did to you, to both of you."

"But?"

"But there is nothing you can call me that I haven't called myself before. So move on, Tanya."

**Tanya's POV**

"The hell with moving on, Black! I'm staying right here, right now, and calling you everything."

"Tanya? Why are you talking to _him_?"

"Bella—wait—don't go!"

"I thought he hurt you, too. But all along you stayed with him? That's really low."

"Now look what's happened, Black!"

"Hey! That was all you, Tanya. You're the one who came here looking for a fight. Not me."

"Yes, I wanted a fight, but not with _her, _with you!"

"Bye Tanya. It's been fun. Really. And we should totally do this again, but I need to go."

"What? You can't just leave me, Black! I'm the one who leaves!"

"Bye!"

**Kate's POV**

"Hello?"

"Kate! Don't hang up, Katie, don't hang up!"

"Garrett? Why are you calling?"

"I miss you. And I'm sorry. I was a fool to make you choose—I know that now."

"I miss you too. And I'm sorry that I chose the wrong person. I should have chosen you."

"No. you shouldn't have had to choose at all. You can keep us both, Katie."

"To be honest… I don't want to. Tanya's a pretty crap friend, but you've always been there."

"I always will be there. I always am, even if it looks like I'm not."

"I know. You're like God that way, but more reliable."

"_And _easier to get hold of. Don't forget that."

**Garrett's POV**

"No, I won't,"

"Shall we stop fighting, then?"

"Yes. I love you—and I always will, Garrett Young!"

"And I love you, Kate Davis!"

"Want to marry me still?"

"Only if you want to marry me."

"I do."

"I'm going to hold you to that!"

"Go on, say it back!"

"I do."

**Jasper's POV**

"Jasper!"

"Oh, hey Alice."

"I have something to tell you."

"Um. Okay. What is it?"

"I don't like Carlisle anymore! My feelings for him are gone!"

"Oh, that's great, Alice!"

"I have feelings for someone else now."

"Oh. I'm very happy for you, Alice."

"You, silly! My feelings are for _you_."

"Really?"

**Alice's POV**

"Really, really."

"…"

"That was a lot cheesier than it sounded when I watched Shrek."

"No more Shrek for you, Pixar Chick."

"Okay, I guess."

"Stop pouting at me, I'm not changing my mind."

"Oh, alright. But when it comes to SpongeBob, nothing can make me change my mind."

"No kidding! Then I get to watch basketball whenever it's on."

"Nuh-uh! You can watch basketball whenever I'm not there. And SpongeBob is non-negotiable."

"Fine. But I'm not happy about it. Perhaps you could make me happy by kissing me…"

**Carlisle's POV**

"Listen, Esme, if you're not busy I was wondering if you'd like to get together again."

"Like… a date?"

"Well… only if you want it to be."

"I'd like that a lot, Carlisle."

"Excellent! That's really brilliant!"

"Pick me up at 7?"

"Tonight?"

"If it's not too soon."

"If it's not too soon for you, it's not too soon for me."

"Great! I'll see you tonight."

**Esme's POV**

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to ask you out."

"I think I can guess."

"I can't wait for tonight, Esme."

"Me neither. I have no idea what I'll wear, though."

"I don't mind. You'd look beautiful in a bin bag."

"Bin bag it is…"

"Well, you'd probably get some strange looks if you did that. But I wouldn't complain."

"Thanks, Carlisle, that's really sweet of you."

"_Ciao, _Esme."

"_Ciao, _Carlisle."

**Emmett's POV**

"Hi Emmett!"

"Whoa! You scared the hell outta me, Rosalie!"

"Huh. Didn't think that could be done."

"I wasn't that scared, really. Just fooling with ya."

"Really?"

"Really, really."

"…"

"Damn Alice and her Shrek passion! In my defense, she made me watch it yesterday."

"Alice is smaller than an ant. And she _made_ you watch a children's film with her."

"Ants are strong! And so is Alice! She's scary for such a small girl."

**Rosalie's POV**

"And here I was hoping you were a big, strong, man…"

"I am!"

"But obviously you're a lot weaker than I'd thought…"

"I am not!"

"I mean, I _was_ going to ask for your help with something, but…"

"But what? I'm a hunk. A big, muscular, gorgeous hunk. I can do anything and everything."

"And you're extremely modest, too!"

"Yes, that's always been an added bonus. One of my many perks, you could say."

"Perks. Of course."

"Yes. Perks."

**Edward's POV**

"Emmett, you just need to be yourself… but better."

"…"

"Hello? Are you listening to me?"

"…"

"Oi! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?"

"That's the biggest load of shit I've heard in my life, Edward!"

"Oh, I give up. I'm going back to Bella's, I need a drink."

"That's right! You run away, idiot!"

"Shut up, Emmett."

"Shan't."

**Bella's POV**

"Edward, you're back. Where have you been? I missed you."

"Hey Bella! I was teaching—well, trying to teach, anyway—Emmett how to be nice to people."

"Did it work?"

"Uh… not so you'd notice, no."

"Oh. Well, at least you tried your best, I suppose."

"Yes. I did try. Are you feeling any better today?"

"Some, I suppose. I'm not quite there, but I've decided I'm not going to kill myself. For you."

"For me?"

"Yes. You do realize you'd be the one cleaning it up? I'm saving you time _and_ detergent."

"So nice to think that you're only choosing to live to spare me some cleaning products…"

A/N: I'm on time! Yes… get me! So, here's the latest chapter, as always dedicated to my one reviewer. She is awesome, but very, very lonely and needs others to review this so that she isn't the only one. Please help her in her mission to review my story; all critique and burning welcomed, all praise praised by me.


	9. Chapter 9

Life, Love and Lust

A **.13 **story

Disclaimer: Characters are not my property, the Twilight world is not my property, and the plot is loosely my property.

**Jacob's POV**

I had lived in La Push for as long as I could remember. As a child, I had played on the beaches and in Forks at Bella's house. She was my best friend, despite her being a girl and gross. And clumsy. Extremely clumsy. But that was just how she was, and so although the other kids pointed and laughed and mocked our friendship, I knew that we were going to be okay because we had one another. When we got to our teens, Bella was the first girl I kissed, because we both were curious about it. I was there for her for all my life. I was there for all of hers. Always doing the best thing for her. It was, once again, a time in my life when I would have to do something good for Bella, no matter what my own selfish impulses were (it's not like they were any good, in any case). The best thing for Bella—and I suppose for me, too—was for one of us to be out of the equation; either she or I would have to go because this town wasn't big enough for both of us. I would have to go.

**Tanya's POV**

And I thought I'd been having a crap day before! An argument with Jacob, which Bella mistook as me getting with him again, and then, of course, I came home. I had been happy at the prospect. Kate's flat was cosy and, if Kate was in, her shoulder would be cosy too. Just wait til she heard! I had thought, preoccupied in my own little world, so I didn't see the red car in the usual space. His red car. When I walked in, I saw Garrett—Garrett!—sitting in the living room with Kate. They were drinking what smelt like coffee, and were a lot friendlier with one another than the last time they were together. Were they back together, I couldn't help but wonder. As soon as I walked through to the living room, they both stopped laughing and the atmosphere—which had been normal and relaxed, previously—took a turn for the worse. Kate looked down into her coffee mug like it contained the answer to the universe within it, and Garrett's jaw and eyes hardened.

**Kate's POV**

Garrett and I were back together, and everything in my life was right—except Tanya, my now ex-best friend. I didn't know what to do about her, though. She was living with me, and I couldn't very well through her out on the street... but maybe I could. She wasn't paying rent. She hadn't even brought it up in conversation, even _tried_ to contribute to the running of the flat. She'd just cried and moaned in _my _flat all the while kipping in _mine and Garret's _bed—it wasn't polite to make a guest sleep on the couch, after all—and eating _my _food. She was treating me like less than a friend. Like... a free hotel. Where was the respect, the equality? She had not comforted me even once when I broke it off with Garrett. No doubt she _liked _having me to herself. And Garrett had never liked Tanya, had always been wary of her. I could finally see what he saw in her: she was a selfish, self-concerned, vein individual, who was only happy when she was the centre of attention.

**Garrett's POV**

I saw Kate's jaw clench, and tensed up. I heard within me what she would say before she said it. Or rather, shouted, actually. I was torn between laughter and tears; on the one hand, the cow deserved it, but on the other I felt partially responsible for the break in their friendship. But then I saw Tanya's reaction, and I felt a little differently. She didn't apologise, or admit to any wrong doing on her part. Instead, her mean eyes narrowed in discontent as she listened to what Kate had to say. After she had listened, she went into our bedroom and collected her stuff. For once, there were no tears. No denials of how crap a friend she had been. Just calm, as she quickly packed up, left the set of keys we had let her use, and walked out the door, closing it quietly. Quietly walking out of Kate's life. And leaving it like she had never been in it. It didn't make sense, but it made me happy. Now I was left in my flat with my beautiful fiancée. Alone at last.

**Jasper's POV**

I am in love. I am in love, and it feels brilliant. It feels so good, I could dance and sing like a fool, and still manage to believe myself the luckiest man in the universe! And it would be true, for surely there is no one experiencing a greater feeling than me! I can't remember feeling this great for a long time, certainly not for five years, but possibly before then too. What I'm trying to say is, if I could pause my life and stay in one moment for forever, I would choose this time, this place, this person. You won't understand me unless you have been there, really been there, to the place where you see with both a sharp edge and a fuzzy glow, the place where so much more makes sense than it previously had. It is new love, young and bright, but most importantly, strong. Sometimes it is very strong and it lasts for a long time, 20, 30, 40 years. Sometimes even more than that. And sometimes it is fragile and breaks. But it's always there. Always.

**Alice's POV**

being with Jasper was the most natural thing in the world. We connected on so many levels, and we completely got one another. And it didn't matter about our pasts, mine as an inhabitant of a mental institution and his with Maria. I guess he's had experience with crazy people, and that's a good thing really because, although I'm not that crazy anymore, I'm still pretty fucked up. But so is he, so we're perfect for each other. I must have been blind before, though—how could I not notice Jasper Whitlock and how awesome and amazing he is? I had seen others appraise both his character and looks before, saw first-hand the girls who watched him, tried to flirt with him, were drawn to some sort of aura around him. Once, I too had been aware of the aura. I had been drawn to him for a split second, and had then concluded he must be wearing a new cologne, one of the ones with pheromones in to attract women. Now I can see that it was just him.

**Carlisle's POV**

To coin a common phrase, several large butterflies were fluttering around in my love-addled, nerve-addled and (just a bit, and for luck and courage) alcohol-addled stomach. 6.40, and I was ready to leave for Esme Platt's house. I really wanted this to go well so that she could see how datable I am and want to stay with me. It was early days, but I knew that I wanted to be considered 'boyfriend material'. Hell, I wanted to be considered 'husband material'! I had never been in love before, but I had read books about it, seen movies about it and listened to music—simply endless amounts of music—about it. As I feverishly pulled on my pants and shirt, I smiled because I knew already that this was the girl I wanted to marry. This was the girl I wanted to be with when I grew old. She didn't know it yet, but I did, and I also knew that I would have to take it slowly with Esme, and try not to scare her too much. No talk of how many kids I want, then...

**Esme's POV**

My favourite colour is green. When in doubt, I say, always go for your favourite colour. For my date with Carlisle, I pull out my best white dress and begin to accessorize—with green. My shoes, bag and the ribbon in my wavy hair, are green. Light green, of course, because dark green in spring never really works for me. Not with my complexion. It's my best look ever, mainly because I feel comfortable. I'm not that nervous for the night ahead, because, for some reason, I seem to connect well with Carlisle Cullen. Not that I'm complaining, of course! I haven't eaten yet, because he might have reservations for us at a restaurant. Or something like that. I hadn't really thought about it before, but I guess I'd naturally assumed we were just going to get something to eat while we were on our date. What if he's already eaten? And I know I'll never work up the nerve to say that I haven't eaten if he doesn't mention food... and there goes the doorbell.

**Emmett's POV**

How the hell did I get roped into this? Oh yeah, I remember... Rosalie asked me to do it, and it would appear I can't actually say 'no' to her. Damn those pretty blue eyes and their cuteness. Saturday night, and I'm in a stranger's house looking after a stranger's kid. Babysitting. Possibly one of the worst things on the planet. Oh, sure, the little rascals seemed like little angels when we first walked through the door—that was when their scary parents were there to keep them in line, though—but the moment the door shut on the parents, mayhem began as the demons came out of their shells. Lucy and Liam are twins, four years old, and the most annoying infants I've ever met. Their nickname for me? Emmy. It sounds like a girl's name! And Rosalie came up with it! What does that say about the way she feels about me? Nothing good, obviously. The twins demanded stories, but eventually we got them off to sleep. We made a good team.

**Rosalie's POV**

My cousins from Connecticut, Matt and Emma, had recently moved to Seattle. They had an important party to go to where they would meet several business people or something like that, and they needed a babysitter. I was the cheapest option, and since I wasn't doing anything, I decided to help them out. Besides, I hadn't seen L1 and L2 for a while. I asked Emmett to help me because I knew that, on my own, I would be bored, but if Emmett was around... well, it would be a chance to see if he was any good with children, and for him to see me in a new, maternal light, which couldn't hurt, could it? In any case, the night was a success—they were in bed by 7.30 sharp, and we just had to wait out the next 3 hours until Matt and Emma came home. There was plenty of opportunity to talk, and talk was all we did. We had a movie on, but it played ignored, as we talked and got to know one another. Emmett is really... nice. A little goofy, but nice.

**Edward's POV**

I really like Bella Swan. I really, _really _like Bella Swan. As in, _like, _like her. As in, maybe someday I'll love her. And I know she likes me—as a friend, at least—but I just can't take it. When will she forget about him? When will she move on with her life, move on with me? I know she's unhappy. I know her heart's broken. And I'm a very patient guy: I've been waiting for her to see me since ninth grade, for God's sake! But all she can see is _him. _Him and that stupid girl he cheated on her with. I'm trying to cheer her up, every day I have a new joke or story or smile for her, and every day all she can think about is his betrayal, of her fiancée acting like the idiot I always knew he was. It's starting to really piss me off. He never deserved her in the first place, and when I saw them in that café, kissing wantonly in the streets, I saw red. How dare he mess around with Bella? He had no right. And now here I am, wondering how long I'll be picking up the pieces of her heart.

**Bella's POV**

I am so tired of being here, in this miserable flat. Everything I see reminds me of him. Every sound I hear has its own echo of Jacob. The bed smells just like him, the covers are now scratchy. When I look in the mirror, his shadow mocks me, and when I dream, the visions are branded afresh into my sore eyes. I have cried so many tears. I have imagined too many scenes. And at the end of each of them, he whispers three damning words into her ear. I. Love. You. Those words are poisoning my mind, and every time I think them they seem to ring truer. It was always her. She gave him what he wanted, what I had sworn I would never give until we were married. He had never had much patience. It was a virtue he never truly grasped. Why wait, when you could have it now? He would ask. But clearly, waiting was the right thing to do. I could never be truly happy again if he had tainted what should be a happy memory, if he haunted my wedding night.

A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry! I am so, so, so sorry! Two days late with my update, and I have something to admit: This story is now going to be put on a temporary halt, because I have 13 important exams to sit, and I'm in the process of leaving school (though I'll be going back there next year for my A-Levels). So I'm sorry, but I _will _finish this story at some point.


	10. Chapter 10

Life, Love and Lust

A **.13 **story

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns most of this. I just made everyone human and had fun with them.

**Jacob's POV**

"Where are you going?"

"Go away Tanya, I don't have time for this shit."

"Answer my question, dickhead."

"Fine. I'm leaving town."

"Really? Why?"

"In case you hadn't noticed, I'm hated around here."

"Oh yeah."

"Yeah."

"Huh. Well, can I come with you?"

"Er, what?"

**Tanya's POV**

"I said, can I come with you?"

"..."

"Well?"

"Uh..."

"Spit it out, Jakey-Bakey."

"I thought you hated me!"

"I do, but everyone in this town hates me, and I figured it could be fun. Maybe."

"Um. Well, okay then I guess?"

"Yay! This is gonna be good."

"..."

**Kate's POV**

"Thank _God _Tanya's gone."

"I know. She was getting on my last nerve."

"I'm so happy I'm not friends with her anymore!"

"I'm happy you're happy."

"Love you, Garrett."

"Love you more, Katie"

"Nuh-uh! That's not possible."

"Actually, it is possible. Very possible."

"Yeah, well I'm finding you impossible right now!"

"Maybe so, but you still love me!"

**Garrett's POV**

"Yes, I do still love you. You know I'll always love you."

"And I will always love you."

"Oh, I know!"

"Want to play some video games?"

"I'd love to. You know, I may love you, but I'm still going to beat you."

"I thought you might say that. Can't you let me win, just once?"

"Does Jasper know that you're this pathetic?"

"Nah, because I always win against him."

"He's worse than you are?"

"Yep, and I never let him forget it..."

**Jasper's POV**

"Morning, babe."

"Morning Jazzy!"

"Ugh, how can you be so happy in the morning?"

"I don't know, I just am! So get up, get outta bed, and let's spend a nice day together!"

"'kay, but only if you stop shouting in my ears..."

"Oops, sorry."

"That's alright."

"Jazzy..."

"Mmm?"

"Jazzy..."

**Alice's POV**

"Yes, Ally-bear?"

"Where's my good morning kiss?"

"It's hiding, but I'm sure I can find it somewhere around here..."

"Thanks Jazzy."

"Anytime."

"I know, silly! Now, come on, you're taking me shopping!"

"I am? I thought I was going to watch some TV with you..."

"Well, yes, but that's later on."

"Oh."

"Cheer up Jazzy! It'll be just you, me and SpongeBob..."

**Carlisle's POV**

"I hope you haven't eaten yet, Esme, because I made a reservation at a restaurant for us."

"Thank God for that! I hadn't eaten because I assumed that we would eat together on our date."

"Great minds really do think alike, then!"

"You're so funny, Carlisle! There's something about you that I just like. Does that sound strange?"

"No, it sounds perfect. There's something about you that I just like, too."

"I've never really felt this way before. Have you felt like this?"

"Never, but I'm glad I do now. "

"I feel exactly the same."

"It's good to know we're on the same page."

"Very good. Now let's go and get something to eat."

**Esme's POV**

"This is delicious!"

"I'm glad you think so, I wasn't sure what kind of food you liked to eat so I just went with Italian."

"It was a good choice; I love Italian food."

"Italian food is very good. I like pizza, but I prefer pasta dishes."

"I like tortellini."

"I like lasagne."

"I love spaghetti bolognaise."

"Me too!"

"Meatballs?"

"Only if you want them."

**Emmett's POV**

"So, babysitting was fun!"

"Yeah it was. Thanks for helping out, Emmy, I really appreciate it."

"..."

"What?"

"Can't you call me Emmett?"

"Well, I could, but I think Emmy suits you."

"But it sounds like a girl's name!"

"I like a man who's in touch with his feminine side."

"I'm not very feminine. I'm more... macho. I have been for a while now."

"I know. We did go to grade school together, after all."

**Rosalie's POV**

"Listen, Rose, the point is: I'll be emotional if you like, and tell you what I'm thinking,"

"But...?"

"But I'm not going to be more _feminine _because you already have girlfriends for that."

"I guess so. Really, Em, it was just a joke."

"I know, Rose."

"So, how do you feel about 'Em'?"

"I quite like it!"

"Me too."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

**Edward's POV**

"Bella, you need to go out."

"What are you talking about? All I need is lots more chocolate ice cream and a big box of tissues."

"You know what, Bella? I am _tired_."

"Then go to sleep. I won't stop you."

"I don't want to go to sleep, I want to go out to a place called reality where people live, and live."

"That's funny. Whenever I get tired, I generally just want to sleep."

"I'm not _tired _tired, I am tired of you and your attitude! It's been a month, Bella."

"So what?"

"So, you haven't spoken to another human being that wasn't me or Alice in a month!"

"I don't like any humans that aren't you and Alice. They're all bastards."

**Bella's POV**

"Well, clearly you've forgotten about your other friends, who are all sick with worry!"

"Who? No one's come around. Not Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle _or _Esme. They've forgotten me."

"No, I gave them orders to leave you alone, because I told them that you'd call them."

"You didn't say I could call them."

"I was waiting for you to want to call them. I was waiting for you to want to live, too."

"I do want to live!"

"You have a funny way of showing it! You won't so much as look outside the windows anymore."

"Fine. I'll go out with you."

"Thank you!"

"Whatever."

A/N: Hi! I have updated! Well, a lot has happened since I last updated, and when I say a lot, I mean a lot! I have: had Prom (which was awesome), had many, many exams (only one left, on Friday and then I break up from school and officially I will be in the awkward stage where you wait for your results), gone to a party where several people got drunk, got together and broke up (I didn't, because I'm too cool. Well, I got a little tipsy, but I didn't get with anyone), managed to write some more of this story (obviously, since I have updated it and you have just read it) and I've also started another novel, even though my first one's nowhere near completion. I'm so crazy, I make myself even more work than I really need. Soon, I'll be looking for a job, so that'll be even less time spent on this, but to be honest, weekly updating is not going to happen for this story anymore. I'm busy, but I will finish this. And I'm sorry for the really long author note. I had a lot to say. Hope you enjoyed it, review!


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